What do you see when you look in the mirror? I’m taking of course about what you see inside of yourself, but I know that mostly what we do when we look in the mirror is see a mess of parts that we don’t like; things we are not satisfied with.
We instantly cut and separate our different bits, taking less than a moment to label various areas as too round, too big, too wobbly, too weird, too noticeable, or just plain yuck. And even if we do manage to find an outfit we are relatively happy with, or even if we are able to acknowledge an improvement in weight, in tone or in body composition we continue to pick apart. “Yes”, we say to ourselves. “yes, I guess my stomach is a bit flatter today but how bout those side pockets on my hips. Disgusting!”
If you’re the kind who likes a never ending challenge, then your female brain ont let you down. Physically you’ll always find something to work on. Probably you will never have time to even celebrate any wins you do achieve; you’ll be too busy moving on to the next step.
Imagine if you were able to look in the mirror and look past the sum of your parts and properly into your soul or heart. What would you see?
Fear, perhaps? Dissatisfaction? Anxiety? The worry that you’ll never be good enough, never be accepted?
Or would you see love and compassion?
If each of us were able to spend even a few minutes each day looking properly within and finding true self love, do you think we would struggle as much with addictions to food? With emotional eating? With self sabotaging behaviour?
Sometimes I wonder if the answer to getting the body you want is not so much about what to eat and how to exercise but rather about learning to love ourselves. What do you think? If you’re not sure, then answer me this –
How do you imagine a person who truly loves themselves (I don’t mean arrogantly) would approach food? Would they alternate between dieting, sacrificing, trying to follow the rules and then caving in and falling into old patterns? Or would they perhaps eat foods that provide them with energy and vitality but also make them feel good? Do you think they’d measure their food? Would they jump from hopeful fad to fad? Or would nutrition be little more than nourishment and pleasure without the guilt?
How about exercise?
If you truly loved yourself would you start exercising regularly in a way that you enjoyed and that worked for you? But would you also be fine with skipping a workout here and there, with prioritising fun, adventure and who knows what else above the ‘must do’ workout on occasion?
For 5 years now I’ve been going to Bikram Yoga. I’d say I’m pretty much addicted. It’s the one form of exercise that I consistently do because it makes me feel amazing rather than because I (also) think it will help me stay in shape.
If you’ve been to Bikram, or perhaps other forms of yoga, you’ll know that an important element is looking into your own eyes in the mirror most of the time. Your eyes are the eyes of your teacher, but they are also they eyes of despair for many people. Personally I would say it took me up to two years to be able to comfortably stare into my own eyes for a whole class. Now I’m pretty good at it but if I am feeling bad about my body for whatever reason it is SO hard to stare into my soul that way.
And sometimes my attention just wanders, and I notice all the other women avoiding their own gaze. Gazing instead at the floor, or the ceiling, or just flickering from place to place. It’s easy to make a judgement on who is happy being them and on who is despairing, judging themselves, worrying about how other people are judging them. and I know, perhaps my judgement is off in some cases but for the most part I’d say it’s pretty accurate. I know because I can almost see my own previous (ad sometimes current) thoughts running through the minds of these women.
I’m not skinny enough. My stomach is too big. I wish. I’ll never get there. I’m a failure.
The underlying issue is a lack of love for the self.
And really, why should any of us automatically be great at loving ourselves? We’re never taught such a concept in school! If anything we are taught not too be too big for our boots, not to acknowledge our wins too obviously. We are taught to questions ourselves and highlight lack rather than sufficiency.
Can you go and stand in front of the mirror right now, look into your own eyes, and say “I love you”? Perhaps, right? But can you say it and mean it? And here’s the real challenge – even if you can look into your eyes and say that, can you look at one specific body part – like your stomach – and say “I love you”?
I don’t blame you if you don’t think you could do that las part and mean it. How can an of us love the parts were working so hard to get rid of? It’s ridiculous!
Perhaps it’s not ridiculous after all. Perhaps it’s even a missing link. Perhaps by learning to love every last part of yourself you would more naturally take those daily steps that would see you achieve your goals. You would care enough not to continue to self sabotage.
How do you love yourself?
In large part, you just decide. But as with anything you also have to take action on what you decide, don’t you? Oe simple action might be to stare into your eyes once a day at least – the eyes of your teacher – and say those 3 simple words.
And who knows? Perhaps if you say them often enough you’ll start to believe it.
And Remember –
Life is Now. Press Play.
Private Coaching with Me – To Get You Gorgeous, Happy and Free
I’m opening up my calendar to new coaching clients as of late October, and – as I do – I’m doing it with a few special extras and a bit of bling attached. I work with women who are driven, focused, and health smart but yet continually struggle to fully achieve their goals. I have an intuitive knack for picking up on the beliefs and fears that hold my clients back as well as being able to instantly pinpoint where they best need to spend their time and focus. Here is what one of my beautiful clients, Justine, has to say about my coaching –
After only 2 sessions with Kat I was amazed at the knowledge she had already gained about me. She knew things about me that I didn’t even know. But when she explained these things I could see and understand.
She is very easy to talk to and at times I struggled to give her answers to the questions but she worked through the questions with me. I am already feeling the benefit of her coaching and can feel the changes starting to happen! The homework that Kat gives is always relevant to the coaching session and helps reinforce what we have spoken about.
Even though I am only at the beginning of my journey I would recommend Kat’s coaching to anyone wanting to find happiness and peace within themselves and how to live your life to the best of your ability by looking after yourself.
Kat – where do I start. Maybe the most honest thing I can say is that working with you privately has allowed me to shift through the fog and clutter in my head, work out what I really want, what makes me happy and what is holding me back. You have also helped me to define some concrete next steps and goals that I am working towards. I like the saying thay Good people have people to help make them better. Having a coach like you is helping me become a better (best) version of me.
Why do coaching?
Coaching with me is focused around helping you breakthrough limiting behaviours and beliefs that have so far stopped you from quite getting you to where you want to go. Specifically I specialise in overcoming emotional eating and food addiction, beating addictive behaviours like workoholism and busy-ness, and helping you to find and live your life purpose and passions. Some of the benefits of coaching with me include:
- Learn how to beat food addiction and food bondage
- Identify your true goals and dream life – the basis of your purpose
- Become free of the need to be busy and ‘on’ all the time as a means of escape, and instead learn to be mindful and focused on what you truly want to create in your life
- Find out the key blocking points for you. Which could mean changing things in your nutrition or training or supplement plan, or it could be learning to think and live with positive intent.
- Release past fears and beliefs that have held you back
Gorgeous Happy Free Coaching is for you if you –
- Know that you ‘know what you should be doing’ but yet it just isn’t quite working
- Feel bound by food and unable to stay disciplined or on track
- Are worried that you’ll never be able to breakthrough and achieve your goals
- Are scared that you don’t have what it takes to truly feel gorgeous happy and free, and that even if you could get there you wouldn’t be able to maintain it
- Are sick of being told how to get results without having the reality of mindset, stress and emotions and how that impacts your choices addressed
- Understand the benefits of receiving tailored support, motivation and accountability
My coaching is not for you if you have a habit of bitching, moaning or complaining about how nothing works for you, if you truly are ‘sure’ that you can’t change, or if you’re not willing to do inner work on your mindset and beliefs!
5 weeks ago I honestly didn’t believe in myself let alone believe I was capable of making changes and finding a small amount of happiness each day. I now believe I am capable of making changes and I am capable of finding some happiness each day.
I am capable of changing my mindset but I know I have to work on it to make it a continual journey. After our session this morning I came to work feeling positive.
Coaching with Kat gave me so much more confidence. I was able to remove myself from a toxic situation and since loosening up how ‘strict’ I thought I had to be based on your advice I have lost more weight than when I was insanely strict.
The Gorgeous Happy Free Coaching Package!
What you get –
- A 7-day video kickstart program + questionnaire designed to get you clear on your goals and have you taking action each day on nutrition + mindset. To do before our private coaching session so that you are already getting results and get more out of it. Normally $49.
- Your one hour private coaching session with me. Normally $375.00
- 30 minute follow up session to ensure you are staying on track and know what the next step is. This is normally $190.
- Email accountability, motivation, and reminders throughout your coaching with me. Priceless!
Your investment for Gorgeous Happy Free Coaching is just $475.00. How good is that?! Especially if you were already thinking of doing some coaching with me even without all the extras! And yes, if you’re an existing client you are also welcome to purchase this package.
And there’s a bonus! 2 actually, if you get in quick. Bonus audio podcast on the science of food addiction, which foods to eat to help stop emotional eating and binge eating as well as which nutrients have shown to be lacking in emotional eaters and how to create hormonal and emotional balance with the right supplements and food choices. Normally $49.
Earlybird only bonus
Register for Gorgeous Happy Free Coaching by Monday October 15 and you will receive entry to a private and once-only masterclass with me in which I will reveal ALL the juicy, telling, and sometimes embarrassing details of my own body journey. Including:
- Exactly how I eat and train
- Which mindset and personal development techniques I use daily to keep me on track
- How I deal with slip ups or self-sabotaging behaviour (including the actual truth about my slip-ups and sabotages)
- My body fat and weight now and over the past 2 years
- My food and training history over the past 2 years showing how it impacted my body fat and weight, where I went off track or what worked really well and what it actually took
- My ‘non-negotiable’ rules for myself for staying sane, fit, healthy and LEAN.
This masterclass is a free bonus ONLY available when you register for Gorgeous Happy Free coaching before Monday October 15. If you have been thinking about coaching with me … If you simply know that you’re stuck and can’t break through … If you are bound by addictive or self-sabotaging behaviour Or if you simply want the support, motivation and butt-kicking accountability to get you gorgeous happy and free, then I will see you on the other side! And can I just say I can’t WAIT to work with you, even if I am quietly freaking out about sharing all my personal details on the masterclass!